I find myself gazing at the mirror on the wall,
it's been quite a while, wonder if I've changed at all.
A baby face, still, hidden 'neath a scruffy beard,
some innocence remains through the hardship this year.
For better or worse now, it's difficult to say,
for so much this year took who I once was away,
and still through it all, there are many lessons I've learned,
every scar on my arm is a badge that I've earned.
This one's for a friend, who died in his prime,
and this for a dream that was broken in time.
Another's a lover chased away by my fears,
and the deepest one, there, was to stop all my tears.
I can still feel myself hold that gun to my head,
as I lay taking stock of my life in my bed,
my finger on the trigger drawing a deep final breath,
as my heart filled with rage when I denied myself death.
Yes, I wear that badge, too, I carved it into my skin.
'Twas punishment for not following through with my sin.
Yet, I feel stronger for it looking back on it now.
I'm sure I shall find happiness....
Someday......
Somehow.....
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